1
00:00:02,540 --> 00:00:08,559
What will I do when you are far

2
00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:15,539
away and I am blue? What will I

3
00:00:15,540 --> 00:00:22,339
do when I'm alone with only

4
00:00:22,340 --> 00:00:28,760
dreams of you that won't...

5
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:54,470
I don't know what I'm going to do with
her for two weeks.

6
00:00:54,980 --> 00:00:57,630
You better behave yourself in Tenerife,
that's all.

7
00:00:57,631 --> 00:00:58,599
What do you mean?

8
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:01,130
I know what goes on in them football
club holidays.

9
00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:04,490
There won't be love urging left in play,
love, America.

10
00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:06,260
I won't get into any trouble, sir.

11
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,460
I'll probably be legless every night.

12
00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:10,040
Well, that's all right, then.

13
00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:18,460
I'll bring you something nice back.

14
00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:21,610
As long as it ain't nothing sexually
transmittable.

15
00:01:40,631 --> 00:01:42,519
Not really.

16
00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:44,560
You? Yes, eventually.

17
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:47,140
I hope you're being careful.

18
00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:50,640
I never get on top of that safety net.
That's what's worrying me.

19
00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:52,880
You know what I mean.

20
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:54,960
I don't know what you mean.

21
00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:56,700
Well, I can't have kids.

22
00:01:56,920 --> 00:01:58,420
I weren't thinking about kids.

23
00:01:58,421 --> 00:02:01,119
There's so many things you can catch
these days.

24
00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:02,170
I'll leave it there.

25
00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:03,860
You're so ignorant, Sharon.

26
00:02:03,861 --> 00:02:06,759
There doesn't have to be anything you
can see wrong with a bloke.

27
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:10,660
I was reading this article in my best,
all about, you know, STDs.

28
00:02:10,661 --> 00:02:14,819
Are you trying to tell me there's some
special risk involved in going out for

29
00:02:14,820 --> 00:02:16,560
blows if he works on the telephone?

30
00:02:18,060 --> 00:02:20,120
STDs, sexually transmitted diseases.

31
00:02:21,300 --> 00:02:22,840
Look, Dave's all right.

32
00:02:23,220 --> 00:02:24,740
He has a bath every day.

33
00:02:26,260 --> 00:02:27,310
I've seen him.

34
00:02:27,311 --> 00:02:30,599
Talking of baths, do you mind if I have
a fizzy one later?

35
00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:32,220
No, no, feel free.

36
00:02:32,221 --> 00:02:35,839
I suppose I'm lucky you ain't invited
Dave in to bollock in the phone with

37
00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:38,850
Well, I hope you don't think I'm that
much of a liberty taker.

38
00:02:39,190 --> 00:02:43,249
I mean, I did think twice before I
invited Dave in for a quickie in your

39
00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:45,050
little bed when he was that way close.

40
00:02:45,750 --> 00:02:47,490
What's that then? Don't touch that.

41
00:02:47,570 --> 00:02:48,620
All right, all right.

42
00:02:50,830 --> 00:02:54,529
Hang on, that's one of them pregnancy
test things, isn't it? Yeah, well,

43
00:02:54,530 --> 00:02:58,089
you go jumping to any conclusions... I
ain't the one that's been doing the

44
00:02:58,090 --> 00:02:59,140
jumping.

45
00:03:00,150 --> 00:03:03,880
Well, you must think you're pregnant or
you won't be doing this test thing.

46
00:03:03,970 --> 00:03:07,910
Well, I ain't crystallising, Trace, but
who's the... It's Daryl's.

47
00:03:08,490 --> 00:03:09,610
Are you sure?

48
00:03:10,130 --> 00:03:11,350
If Daryl's all right.

49
00:03:11,550 --> 00:03:12,810
If there isn't it, that is.

50
00:03:12,811 --> 00:03:14,549
What's that there?

51
00:03:14,550 --> 00:03:15,990
It's cleaning the nip from us.

52
00:03:16,290 --> 00:03:17,370
Don't you believe me?

53
00:03:18,270 --> 00:03:19,690
Of course I believe you.

54
00:03:20,370 --> 00:03:23,140
Just like Daryl does when you go and
visit him tomorrow.

55
00:03:23,141 --> 00:03:26,389
Look, remember when I went to visit
Daryl just before the trial?

56
00:03:26,390 --> 00:03:27,950
Day of our wedding anniversary.

57
00:03:28,050 --> 00:03:29,730
Well, Daryl'd cooked up this idea.

58
00:03:29,990 --> 00:03:33,549
He knew that the prison chaplain was
taking a bit of a shine to him. Oh,

59
00:03:33,550 --> 00:03:34,750
remember that chaplain.

60
00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:37,470
I always thought he looked a bit stoke
on Trent.

61
00:03:38,460 --> 00:03:39,980
Not that sort of shine.

62
00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:41,330
You're mine.

63
00:03:41,900 --> 00:03:45,630
It was after Daryl had volunteered to re
-glaze them windows in the chapel.

64
00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:49,679
You know, after the riot. And the
chaplain found Daryl on his knees,

65
00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:51,240
about the state of our marriage.

66
00:03:51,780 --> 00:03:55,020
And? Well, it was a ruse, weren't it?
And it worked.

67
00:03:55,021 --> 00:03:56,979
The chaplain was dead sympathetic.

68
00:03:56,980 --> 00:04:00,219
Let me and Daryl get together in his
office to try and talk things over in

69
00:04:00,220 --> 00:04:04,200
private. So you persuaded the Rev to
leave you two alone?

70
00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:08,710
for a bit. We were alone in that office
a whole half hour. It was fantastic.

71
00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:13,810
I never thought you could... Anyway, it
was fantastic.

72
00:04:14,530 --> 00:04:16,149
Well, it would be, wouldn't it?

73
00:04:16,450 --> 00:04:20,570
Doing it in unusual places with a risk
of discovery always makes it better.

74
00:04:21,310 --> 00:04:23,810
Me and Dave did it in the back of his
telecom van.

75
00:04:24,710 --> 00:04:28,430
It ain't so daring. Even me and Daryl
had done it in the back of a van.

76
00:04:28,750 --> 00:04:30,800
Yeah, but we was going through a car
wash.

77
00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:35,780
I hesitate to cook this.

78
00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:37,730
It's done.

79
00:04:37,731 --> 00:04:38,879
Here you go.

80
00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:39,930
Fingers crossed.

81
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,740
Why didn't you bring me a cigar?

82
00:04:52,100 --> 00:04:53,480
I like a nice cigar.

83
00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:55,290
I know.

84
00:04:55,820 --> 00:04:57,990
What have you got against me then,
Sharon?

85
00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:01,430
It's only a one -hour visit. Where do
you want me to start?

86
00:05:03,420 --> 00:05:06,550
Yeah. He seems to be settling down right
nicely at school.

87
00:05:07,290 --> 00:05:08,910
Can't wait to see him at half term.

88
00:05:09,030 --> 00:05:10,650
Yeah, it'd be good, wouldn't it?

89
00:05:10,750 --> 00:05:12,130
Well, not good, but you know.

90
00:05:12,330 --> 00:05:13,380
Yeah.

91
00:05:13,381 --> 00:05:17,289
Yeah, Garfield wrote me how he'd come
third in the lower school cross -country

92
00:05:17,290 --> 00:05:18,370
out of nearly 300 kids.

93
00:05:19,050 --> 00:05:20,190
Must take after me, eh?

94
00:05:20,191 --> 00:05:23,509
Remember when I legged it for Mollesley
Bay Ballstalk?

95
00:05:23,510 --> 00:05:26,529
Yeah, and I remember how the police
picked her up and married me mum a

96
00:05:26,530 --> 00:05:27,389
days later.

97
00:05:27,390 --> 00:05:29,620
I know you had to serve an extra three
months.

98
00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:32,539
I know, you said you'd go straight after
that, and now I believed you, and now

99
00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:34,890
you're... I don't want to talk about it,
all right.

100
00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:36,300
Me neither, I'm sorry.

101
00:05:36,831 --> 00:05:40,679
So, you're all right for money now,
anyway?

102
00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:43,150
Yeah, looks like Randy thought he'd the
bank out.

103
00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:44,700
Cheek, freezing our assets.

104
00:05:44,701 --> 00:05:47,099
Well, they'd be frosted now, aren't
they?

105
00:05:47,100 --> 00:05:48,150
So,

106
00:05:49,340 --> 00:05:50,540
what you been up to then?

107
00:05:50,820 --> 00:05:53,240
Stayed indoors most of the time, same as
you.

108
00:05:53,241 --> 00:05:55,899
At least you're allowed to watch the
telly after half seven.

109
00:05:55,900 --> 00:05:56,950
Yeah.

110
00:05:57,680 --> 00:05:59,410
So... You seeing anyone?

111
00:06:01,070 --> 00:06:02,570
What's that supposed to mean?

112
00:06:02,571 --> 00:06:04,449
Just wondered if anyone's dropped round.

113
00:06:04,450 --> 00:06:07,609
My Uncle Charlie embezzled and he
said... Don't do me that. You want to

114
00:06:07,610 --> 00:06:09,189
I'm knocking it off with another fella?

115
00:06:09,190 --> 00:06:10,730
No. I know you wouldn't.

116
00:06:10,731 --> 00:06:12,429
Would you?

117
00:06:12,430 --> 00:06:13,480
No, I would not.

118
00:06:13,870 --> 00:06:15,010
That's all right, then.

119
00:06:15,310 --> 00:06:19,210
Daryl, we've been married... Daryl,
we've been married over 15 years.

120
00:06:19,610 --> 00:06:24,250
I know, but... Women on the outside... I
mean, it's only natural.

121
00:06:25,390 --> 00:06:26,670
And you are a great looker.

122
00:06:26,671 --> 00:06:28,809
Got the best -looking bird here.

123
00:06:28,810 --> 00:06:30,800
Look, it ain't got nothing to do with
it.

124
00:06:31,070 --> 00:06:33,850
I love you, and I promise to wait for
you.

125
00:06:34,150 --> 00:06:35,200
Yeah, I know.

126
00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:36,320
Sorry, sugar.

127
00:06:37,110 --> 00:06:38,390
Only so many women do.

128
00:06:38,790 --> 00:06:39,840
I know.

129
00:06:39,930 --> 00:06:40,980
Sharon's got a bloke.

130
00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:42,200
You're joking.

131
00:06:42,270 --> 00:06:43,390
No, phone engineer.

132
00:06:43,930 --> 00:06:44,980
Very well connected.

133
00:06:44,981 --> 00:06:50,349
Listen, don't say nothing to Chris or
he'll blow his top.

134
00:06:50,350 --> 00:06:51,400
You what?

135
00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:53,730
You slag!

136
00:06:54,670 --> 00:06:56,530
Well, it didn't take you long, did it?

137
00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:59,750
British Telecom have been reducing their
waiting list.

138
00:06:59,860 --> 00:07:03,180
Sit down, Sorber, or it's the end of
your visit.

139
00:07:05,371 --> 00:07:07,419
Beryl? Yeah?

140
00:07:07,420 --> 00:07:09,340
Do you remember our 15th anniversary?

141
00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:11,210
Remember it?

142
00:07:11,260 --> 00:07:14,140
How can I forget it? That was the last
time we... Nah,

143
00:07:14,421 --> 00:07:17,159
it wouldn't work here, Trace.

144
00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:19,750
Chaplin's been around too long to fall
for that one.

145
00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:21,130
Not that.

146
00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:23,220
Oh, God, this is hard.

147
00:07:23,221 --> 00:07:26,369
Look, you know I stopped taking the pill
after he got reminded.

148
00:07:26,370 --> 00:07:28,420
I mean, there didn't seem to be any
point.

149
00:07:28,510 --> 00:07:29,650
I didn't, but so what?

150
00:07:29,651 --> 00:07:31,829
You're not ill, are you?

151
00:07:31,830 --> 00:07:34,569
There was this thing on Woman's Hour the
other afternoon all about the pill and

152
00:07:34,570 --> 00:07:35,589
women who smoke.

153
00:07:35,590 --> 00:07:36,750
No, I'm all right.

154
00:07:37,470 --> 00:07:40,330
Well, yeah, I am all right, but... But
what?

155
00:07:41,310 --> 00:07:42,360
I'm pregnant.

156
00:07:42,910 --> 00:07:43,960
You what?

157
00:07:45,130 --> 00:07:46,990
What are the lovebirds boning about?

158
00:07:47,890 --> 00:07:48,940
Tracey's pregnant.

159
00:07:49,690 --> 00:07:50,740
What?

160
00:07:53,260 --> 00:07:56,390
Mother Teresa's wandered off to straight
and narrow, is she?

161
00:07:56,660 --> 00:07:58,600
It's Daryl's, you toe -rag.

162
00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:02,280
Yeah? What's he been sticking his
envelopes down with?

163
00:08:05,780 --> 00:08:07,380
What a turd brain.

164
00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:11,300
His wife's sister says it's Daryl's. I
don't give a toss either way.

165
00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:13,560
At least I don't have to worry about
you.

166
00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:18,070
Your fallopian tubes are more congested
than the Bakerloo line in the rush hour.

167
00:08:19,660 --> 00:08:22,520
You're a real piece of scum, you are.

168
00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:26,870
If only I'd known sweet, innocent Tracy
Stubbs puts it about.

169
00:08:27,270 --> 00:08:29,560
I've always fancied a portion of that
myself.

170
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:31,330
Just shut it, all right?

171
00:08:31,650 --> 00:08:32,809
Daryl the father.

172
00:08:33,210 --> 00:08:34,610
I'll pull the other one.

173
00:08:35,870 --> 00:08:36,920
Oh!

174
00:08:40,929 --> 00:08:42,789
What a lovely little boy.

175
00:08:44,690 --> 00:08:50,109
Look, when the new baby's born and Daryl
sees it, I mean, Garfield was the

176
00:08:50,110 --> 00:08:53,719
spitting image of his dad, wasn't he?
Yes, but I can't go through the next

177
00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:56,059
-odd months with Daryl thinking I've
been unfaithful.

178
00:08:56,060 --> 00:09:00,879
By the time the baby comes out shouting,
you who, Daddy, recognise me, our

179
00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:02,399
marriage will be as good as over.

180
00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:06,560
On the other hand, looking on the bleak
side... Oh, guess who?

181
00:09:11,611 --> 00:09:15,939
I'll have to get you a latchkey cut,
Dorian.

182
00:09:15,940 --> 00:09:18,410
My mother always said good manners cost
nothing.

183
00:09:19,900 --> 00:09:20,950
What do you want?

184
00:09:21,100 --> 00:09:22,380
To which you muddled off.

185
00:09:22,381 --> 00:09:25,499
Well, what's that when it's at home? It
means congratulations.

186
00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:27,899
Sharon's told me about your forthcoming
event.

187
00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:28,950
Oh, has she?

188
00:09:29,420 --> 00:09:30,470
Sharon!

189
00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,700
You've got a mouth on you, haven't you?

190
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:36,580
What? Have you told all in sundry I'm
expecting?

191
00:09:37,100 --> 00:09:38,840
No, only Dorian.

192
00:09:39,060 --> 00:09:40,480
Am I all or sundry?

193
00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:42,250
And Chris?

194
00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:43,880
And Aunty Sylvia in Oxton?

195
00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,240
You shouldn't sit on good news.

196
00:09:46,740 --> 00:09:47,790
And Dave?

197
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:49,700
Course I ain't told Dave.

198
00:09:49,701 --> 00:09:51,399
Well, they're stomach.

199
00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:52,520
He's been ten or eight.

200
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:56,200
So what would you prefer, a boy or a
girl?

201
00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:58,000
I'd prefer a bit of privacy.

202
00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:00,600
Oh, no, a little girl would be nice.

203
00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:02,839
Then she'd have the pair, wouldn't she?

204
00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:05,920
Oh, I love little girls' clothes.
They're so sweet.

205
00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:08,200
Put a disposable nappy in it.

206
00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:10,040
Pay no attention to her.

207
00:10:10,340 --> 00:10:14,299
She's down because Daryl don't seem to
believe he's the father which art in

208
00:10:14,300 --> 00:10:17,580
prison. Your husband's the father.
That's even better.

209
00:10:18,181 --> 00:10:25,189
private life you're discussing here. Why
don't you just ring up the nose of the

210
00:10:25,190 --> 00:10:26,610
world? Good idea.

211
00:10:26,830 --> 00:10:27,880
You got the number?

212
00:10:27,881 --> 00:10:31,029
Everything's a joke to you, isn't it,
Sharon?

213
00:10:31,030 --> 00:10:32,080
Sorry, Tracey.

214
00:10:32,130 --> 00:10:35,890
Tracey, a new baby should be a source of
joy regardless of the problems.

215
00:10:36,170 --> 00:10:37,550
Look, I brought a few things.

216
00:10:37,890 --> 00:10:42,590
A friend of mine has a very exclusive
baby boutique in Snaresbrook.

217
00:10:42,850 --> 00:10:48,809
Now, as soon as Sharon told me the
news... Oh, look at these. Aren't they

218
00:10:48,810 --> 00:10:49,860
lovely?

219
00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:52,300
Oh, Dory. You shouldn't have.

220
00:10:52,301 --> 00:10:56,639
£60? Yes, but Zara says you can have
anything you like for a third off the

221
00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:57,690
ticket price.

222
00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:59,500
Put me down for this. Be my present.

223
00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:01,580
And we'll show commission, Dorian.

224
00:11:01,780 --> 00:11:04,310
As if I'd take commission in these
circumstances.

225
00:11:04,311 --> 00:11:07,559
I only wish I had occasion to buy these
clothes for myself.

226
00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:08,610
They'd never fit you.

227
00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:11,800
What, can't you have kids?

228
00:11:12,260 --> 00:11:14,790
I'd call that rather a personal
question, Sharon.

229
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:15,890
Yes, so would I.

230
00:11:16,380 --> 00:11:17,430
What's the answer?

231
00:11:18,020 --> 00:11:20,250
Marcus and I have chosen not to have a
family.

232
00:11:20,251 --> 00:11:22,729
He's fanatically dedicated to his
career.

233
00:11:22,730 --> 00:11:26,389
And you're fanatically dedicated to
strumping the bloke in the kitchen shop.

234
00:11:26,390 --> 00:11:28,440
It's not funny, Tracy. I'm a driven
woman.

235
00:11:30,010 --> 00:11:32,540
Illicit love is a rocky path strewn with
pitfalls.

236
00:11:32,850 --> 00:11:36,110
The deception, the lies, the tears, the
stolen moments.

237
00:11:36,690 --> 00:11:39,760
Always apart, the last week in July, the
first week in August.

238
00:11:39,790 --> 00:11:41,570
I hope you're paying attention.

239
00:11:41,950 --> 00:11:45,740
Illicit affairs always end in tears.
You've heard it from the horse's mouth.

240
00:11:45,870 --> 00:11:47,610
So much for cosmetic dentistry.

241
00:11:50,990 --> 00:11:52,310
I'm not cheating on Chris.

242
00:11:52,750 --> 00:11:54,370
I've told him all about Dave.

243
00:11:55,410 --> 00:11:57,790
Really got his rag. It was brilliant.

244
00:11:57,990 --> 00:12:00,750
Well, I just hope you've had a good
check -up. Eh?

245
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:04,510
Whenever I take a new lover, I see my
Harley Street gynaecologist.

246
00:12:04,870 --> 00:12:07,280
Must cost you a fortune in parking
meters alone.

247
00:12:09,910 --> 00:12:13,710
Tracy, I am trying to give your sister
sincere and honest advice.

248
00:12:14,210 --> 00:12:17,940
When I want constant sniping and
character assassination, I'll phone my

249
00:12:21,550 --> 00:12:23,600
No notice of her. She's got the right
hump.

250
00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:25,630
That makes sense, what you said.

251
00:12:25,631 --> 00:12:29,369
I think I'll give this gynaecologist of
yours a ring. He's very expensive,

252
00:12:29,370 --> 00:12:30,420
Sharon.

253
00:12:30,570 --> 00:12:33,610
When it comes to my health, Dorian,
money is no object.

254
00:12:34,530 --> 00:12:36,330
You'll pay for me, won't you, Tracy?

255
00:12:37,330 --> 00:12:41,929
Maybe it would be cheaper, I mean, more
convenient, to see Tracy's man. Who is

256
00:12:41,930 --> 00:12:43,370
your gynaecologist, Tracy?

257
00:12:43,650 --> 00:12:46,240
I don't know. Whoever's up the hospital,
the day I go.

258
00:12:46,241 --> 00:12:48,529
You mean you're having your baby on the
NHS?

259
00:12:48,530 --> 00:12:49,580
Yes. Why?

260
00:12:50,030 --> 00:12:53,729
People like us who can afford to go
private owe it to those who can't, like

261
00:12:53,730 --> 00:12:55,840
Sharon, not to clog up the health
service.

262
00:12:57,530 --> 00:12:59,370
It's your social duty to go private.

263
00:12:59,910 --> 00:13:01,870
I never thought of it like that before.

264
00:13:01,871 --> 00:13:05,389
Go and see my man, Rodney Kaufman. He's
wonderful. Have you heard of him?

265
00:13:05,390 --> 00:13:09,870
No, should I? He does a late -night
programme on Capital Radio, a phone -in,

266
00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:12,400
Women's Trouble. It's a fascinating
programme.

267
00:13:12,401 --> 00:13:16,209
There was a call last night from a man
who said he was trapped in a woman's

268
00:13:16,210 --> 00:13:17,260
body.

269
00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:19,410
Lucky woman.

270
00:13:23,460 --> 00:13:24,740
Tuberculosis? No.

271
00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:26,410
Diphtheria? No.

272
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:28,940
Epilepsy? Not that I know of.

273
00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:30,740
Syphilis? You what?

274
00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:33,160
Why, it's a pre -printed form.

275
00:13:33,161 --> 00:13:37,219
Fine. Well, there seems no reason to
think things will be completely

276
00:13:37,220 --> 00:13:39,930
straightforward. You seem a very healthy
young woman.

277
00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:42,750
Now, Tracy, we're going to do a little
examination.

278
00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:45,010
What sample?

279
00:13:45,740 --> 00:13:46,790
Oh.

280
00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:51,620
Rather generous one at that. Thank you.

281
00:13:52,940 --> 00:13:56,490
First, I think if you'd like to step
behind the curtain and remove your

282
00:13:56,491 --> 00:13:59,959
and perhaps your friend would care to
wait in the reception lounge.

283
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:01,760
Oh, I'm not her friend. I'm her sister.

284
00:14:01,761 --> 00:14:04,719
I'd like her to stay, please. I mean,
after all, she's going to be there when

285
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:05,770
the baby's born.

286
00:14:05,771 --> 00:14:07,059
I see.

287
00:14:07,060 --> 00:14:09,230
And I'm going to help bring it up,
aren't I?

288
00:14:09,860 --> 00:14:10,910
Oh.

289
00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:12,290
Oh, of course.

290
00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:15,420
Well, that's fine.

291
00:14:15,660 --> 00:14:16,710
No problem.

292
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:19,740
Stable home is a stable home after all.

293
00:14:22,100 --> 00:14:28,379
I hope you don't mind my asking, but how
did you decide which sister was going

294
00:14:28,380 --> 00:14:29,900
to be the biological mother?

295
00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:35,810
What?

296
00:14:36,340 --> 00:14:40,879
Did you have to get together with a man,
or was it a case of artificial

297
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,220
insemination by donor?

298
00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:43,690
A donor?

299
00:14:44,820 --> 00:14:45,870
Hang on.

300
00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:48,700
reckons we're a pair of lesbians.

301
00:14:50,260 --> 00:14:52,490
Either that or you've had it off with a
kebab.

302
00:14:53,860 --> 00:14:56,870
Do you mind? I'm a married woman. I've
already got a teenager.

303
00:14:57,560 --> 00:15:02,340
Oh, I'm sorry, but when you said you
were sisters, I... We are sisters.

304
00:15:03,060 --> 00:15:05,180
We've got the same mum. And the same
dad.

305
00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:06,960
They don't make us sisters.

306
00:15:06,961 --> 00:15:09,719
But you said you were raising the child
together.

307
00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:12,370
Well, my husband's working away from
home. All right.

308
00:15:12,540 --> 00:15:14,280
On a long -term contract.

309
00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:16,590
I see.

310
00:15:16,591 --> 00:15:17,739
Of course.

311
00:15:17,740 --> 00:15:19,320
Please do forgive me.

312
00:15:19,700 --> 00:15:20,750
Yeah, all right.

313
00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:22,160
Don't do it again.

314
00:15:23,860 --> 00:15:26,780
Get behind the curtains and drop them,
Trace.

315
00:15:27,340 --> 00:15:28,620
It's one of his money.

316
00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:40,179
That of American washing machine magnate
Hiram Wilmington Ill, the

317
00:15:40,180 --> 00:15:46,080
third, was seen cavorting at the Barclay
Square Ball.

318
00:15:48,490 --> 00:15:49,540
They're both.

319
00:15:50,910 --> 00:15:52,770
No, that's impossible.

320
00:15:56,270 --> 00:15:57,530
What have you done to her?

321
00:15:58,750 --> 00:16:00,750
What is it? Ain't twins, is it?

322
00:16:01,170 --> 00:16:02,510
No, it ain't nothing.

323
00:16:02,810 --> 00:16:03,860
I'm sorry.

324
00:16:04,070 --> 00:16:05,120
What?

325
00:16:05,121 --> 00:16:09,009
A phantom pregnancy, I'm afraid. Not
that unusual when couples are forced to

326
00:16:09,010 --> 00:16:09,849
live apart.

327
00:16:09,850 --> 00:16:12,020
I'm going to be sick. I've got to go to
the loo.

328
00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:18,899
Miss Finch, would you look after Mrs.
Stubbs, please? And medicinal brandy

329
00:16:18,900 --> 00:16:19,950
be in order. Thank you.

330
00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:21,690
Are you serious?

331
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:23,980
There ain't going to be no baby.

332
00:16:23,981 --> 00:16:27,199
Wishful thinking can be a very powerful
phenomenon.

333
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:28,099
Oh, yeah?

334
00:16:28,100 --> 00:16:31,260
And why did Tom Cruise never materialise
in me bed tonight?

335
00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:34,320
Oh, poor Tracy.

336
00:16:37,140 --> 00:16:40,360
I don't suppose you could give me the
once -over, could you?

337
00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:45,470
I mean, she did book you for half -hour,
so you have got ten minutes to kill.

338
00:16:45,660 --> 00:16:47,000
Uh, why?

339
00:16:48,820 --> 00:16:53,440
Well, when I woke up this morning, I had
this... You know.

340
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:56,620
Uh, could you be a little more specific?

341
00:16:58,420 --> 00:17:00,060
This itch.

342
00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:01,810
You know.

343
00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:06,650
So shall I hop on the table and you can
put your marigolds back on then?

344
00:17:10,099 --> 00:17:11,810
It is a bit... Irregular?

345
00:17:12,450 --> 00:17:16,290
Those going around accusing respectable
married women of being doics.

346
00:17:16,510 --> 00:17:17,560
Touquet.

347
00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:18,820
Gloves first.

348
00:17:29,230 --> 00:17:30,280
Sharon?

349
00:17:30,910 --> 00:17:32,910
We'll be on the screens, Trace.

350
00:17:33,190 --> 00:17:34,470
Our faces are pulled.

351
00:17:34,471 --> 00:17:40,809
If you're feeling better, Tracey, would
you mind waiting at reception?

352
00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:41,839
What? What's happening?

353
00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:42,890
Mind your own.

354
00:17:43,260 --> 00:17:45,670
Since when have we had secrets from each
other?

355
00:17:45,820 --> 00:17:47,400
Since I climbed on this table.

356
00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:53,890
Well?

357
00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:57,360
Well, there's good news and bad news, as
they say.

358
00:17:57,700 --> 00:17:59,420
Oh, what's the bad news?

359
00:17:59,421 --> 00:18:02,779
Well, it's not really very bad. It's
simply a mild case of thrush.

360
00:18:02,780 --> 00:18:03,830
Kill that, Dave.

361
00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:08,279
Oh, it's not necessarily anyone's fault.
It can be caused by stress, excessive

362
00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:10,520
drinking. It ain't caused by sex.

363
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:15,699
A direct causal link has never been
established, although nuns don't seem to

364
00:18:15,700 --> 00:18:16,750
it.

365
00:18:16,900 --> 00:18:18,680
Must be the stress thing, Sharon.

366
00:18:19,420 --> 00:18:20,680
So what's the cure, then?

367
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:25,559
Tablets? Well, I could give you
antibiotics, but I don't like

368
00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:26,399
willy -nilly.

369
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:27,450
Use your pen, then.

370
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:36,300
In my opinion, the best treatment is
live yoghurt.

371
00:18:37,220 --> 00:18:38,270
Try it out.

372
00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:39,610
Precisely.

373
00:18:43,980 --> 00:18:48,380
What? No, you don't actually eat it. You
apply it to the affected area.

374
00:18:49,500 --> 00:18:53,480
Are you saying I've got to walk around
with live yoghurt in me Alan Wickers?

375
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,400
It is the best treatment, I assure you.

376
00:19:00,020 --> 00:19:01,420
Well, if you say so.

377
00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:02,730
You're the governor.

378
00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:04,690
Come on, Trey.

379
00:19:04,860 --> 00:19:07,220
I did say there was good news.

380
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:11,090
Don't tell me. You know where I can get
yoghurt wholesale?

381
00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:15,280
No. Sharon, you're pregnant.
Congratulations.

382
00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:23,880
I just can't believe it, Trace.

383
00:19:24,660 --> 00:19:26,500
You know I can't have kids.

384
00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:29,040
He must be wrong.

385
00:19:29,540 --> 00:19:31,500
He's a top man in Arley Street.

386
00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:34,140
I got Billy for 200 quid to prove it.

387
00:20:15,740 --> 00:20:18,810
Garnet with water, conserving new
potatoes and green salad.

388
00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:25,239
Because Marcus and I don't want to bring
children into a crowded, polluted and

389
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:26,290
dangerous world.

390
00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:34,980
I know Tidwell isn't that proud, but...
Gotta go, Mummy.

391
00:20:37,460 --> 00:20:38,660
I'll talk to you tonight.

392
00:20:41,401 --> 00:20:48,329
What's the brolly for, Dorian? I don't
know how to turn off the automatic

393
00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:49,380
sprinkler.

394
00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:51,930
Well? Well, what?

395
00:20:58,750 --> 00:21:05,330
So, how did you get on?

396
00:21:07,510 --> 00:21:10,990
Dr Kaufman, gorgeous. Hasn't he got
beautiful fingernails?

397
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,560
I'm just glad he keeps them short,
that's all.

398
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:18,560
Conditioned, Tracy. Is everything okay?

399
00:21:18,561 --> 00:21:22,099
Dorian, has it ever occurred to you that
we might not want to share all our

400
00:21:22,100 --> 00:21:23,480
intimate secrets with you?

401
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:24,960
But he's my gynaecologist.

402
00:21:27,340 --> 00:21:28,390
Oh, I see.

403
00:21:28,500 --> 00:21:29,550
Yoghurt.

404
00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:30,850
Yes, you see.

405
00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:32,040
Yoghurt. So?

406
00:21:32,580 --> 00:21:34,750
Thrush is nothing to be ashamed of,
Sharon.

407
00:21:35,300 --> 00:21:37,520
I just like eating yoghurt, all right?

408
00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:40,420
There's something wrong, I can tell.

409
00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:44,659
Just leave me alone, Dorian. It was a
false alarm, wasn't it? You aren't

410
00:21:44,660 --> 00:21:46,200
pregnant. I'm sensitive.

411
00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:50,760
I pick up telltale non -verbal signs
like smoking and drinking.

412
00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:54,400
All right, clever clogs, I'm not
pregnant. But she is.

413
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:56,250
Sharon!

414
00:21:56,700 --> 00:21:58,860
Thank you very much, Tracy.

415
00:21:59,140 --> 00:22:02,300
But you yourself told me you couldn't
have children.

416
00:22:02,301 --> 00:22:04,439
Yeah, well, that's what I thought.

417
00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:06,319
Well, surely you had all the tests done.

418
00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:09,299
Oh, she had all the tests done, but she
couldn't understand the results.

419
00:22:09,300 --> 00:22:10,350
Why not?

420
00:22:10,860 --> 00:22:11,910
They were in Greek.

421
00:22:13,530 --> 00:22:17,509
That lying merchant of a husband of mine
had him done on the cheap by his cousin

422
00:22:17,510 --> 00:22:19,450
Tony, who worked in some hospital lab.

423
00:22:19,970 --> 00:22:21,630
The results were in Greek.

424
00:22:22,430 --> 00:22:25,430
Chris had to translate them for me.
That's terrible.

425
00:22:25,870 --> 00:22:28,270
Oh, what a mug I was.

426
00:22:28,550 --> 00:22:30,010
I swallowed it all.

427
00:22:30,550 --> 00:22:33,670
It was Macho Man who couldn't make
babies, not me.

428
00:22:34,330 --> 00:22:37,530
All those years I let him walk all over
me.

429
00:22:38,110 --> 00:22:42,699
All those years he'd... family treated
me like dirt because I weren't a

430
00:22:42,700 --> 00:22:45,840
woman. Oh, Sharon, look on the bright
side.

431
00:22:45,841 --> 00:22:49,039
You've always said you love children and
now you're going to have one.

432
00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:50,480
You've got a nice new man.

433
00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:51,940
Does he like children?

434
00:22:52,620 --> 00:22:54,580
I don't know if he likes children.

435
00:22:55,340 --> 00:22:57,040
I don't even know his surname.

436
00:23:00,221 --> 00:23:03,239
So, did you have a good holiday?

437
00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:04,290
Yeah, magic.

438
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:08,170
From the first Wednesday to the day
before we come back, it's a complete

439
00:23:08,490 --> 00:23:11,260
But I've seen the photos, so I know I
had a blinding time.

440
00:23:11,630 --> 00:23:12,680
Got the stand?

441
00:23:12,770 --> 00:23:13,820
Yeah, God knows how.

442
00:23:14,150 --> 00:23:16,200
They must have taken the roof off the
pub.

443
00:23:17,110 --> 00:23:19,030
Still, back to earth, eh?

444
00:23:19,530 --> 00:23:20,580
Can I get you a drink?

445
00:23:20,750 --> 00:23:22,130
Nah, better not. I'm driving.

446
00:23:22,650 --> 00:23:23,790
So, where is she, then?

447
00:23:24,030 --> 00:23:25,080
She's not back yet.

448
00:23:25,081 --> 00:23:27,749
Oh, I hope she ain't long. I booked a
table for half nine.

449
00:23:27,750 --> 00:23:29,569
Aw, are you taking her out for dinner?

450
00:23:29,570 --> 00:23:30,770
No, down to snooker club.

451
00:23:30,771 --> 00:23:35,169
She shouldn't be long. She's got a job,
ain't she, in that west?

452
00:23:35,170 --> 00:23:36,220
Really?

453
00:23:36,630 --> 00:23:38,340
Yeah. Up with the suit.

454
00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:40,360
She's real classy, your sister.

455
00:23:40,740 --> 00:23:42,000
Lovely dresser. Yeah.

456
00:23:42,001 --> 00:23:44,919
I don't know why she's bothering,
though. I mean, she left the jacket in a

457
00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:45,919
months, didn't she?

458
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:47,120
Yeah, why's that, then?

459
00:23:47,180 --> 00:23:48,440
Well, because of the baby.

460
00:23:48,900 --> 00:23:49,950
What?

461
00:23:50,020 --> 00:23:52,000
What, you having a baby, are you, Tracy?

462
00:23:52,220 --> 00:23:53,270
Look at her.

463
00:23:53,660 --> 00:23:54,920
Here, ain't your old man?

464
00:23:55,140 --> 00:23:58,160
Well, I mean, I'm not saying that... I'm
not having a baby.

465
00:23:58,400 --> 00:23:59,450
Sharon is.

466
00:24:00,180 --> 00:24:01,260
She's having a baby.

467
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:03,530
What?

468
00:24:03,780 --> 00:24:06,040
You mean I... I'm gonna...

469
00:24:06,670 --> 00:24:09,740
Here, hold on. I bought her 300 extra
long and a bottle of vodka.

470
00:24:09,741 --> 00:24:14,489
Look, don't let on I said anything, all
right? She'll want to tell you herself.

471
00:24:14,490 --> 00:24:15,540
Dave's here, shall?

472
00:24:17,570 --> 00:24:18,620
Hello, doll.

473
00:24:18,950 --> 00:24:20,000
Oh, blimey.

474
00:24:20,330 --> 00:24:21,380
And I've missed you.

475
00:24:21,870 --> 00:24:22,920
Yeah, me and all.

476
00:24:23,470 --> 00:24:26,180
Look, I don't really know where to go
next night, Dave.

477
00:24:26,490 --> 00:24:27,540
I've had hell of a day.

478
00:24:27,541 --> 00:24:29,309
Yeah, all right, yeah, yeah.

479
00:24:29,310 --> 00:24:30,810
Just sit down, put your feet up.

480
00:24:30,811 --> 00:24:32,549
We'll stay in and watch the telly.

481
00:24:32,550 --> 00:24:34,050
That'll be creaky, don't mind.

482
00:24:34,390 --> 00:24:35,650
He had his boxing on later.

483
00:24:36,300 --> 00:24:38,290
I'll just have a share in an early
night.

484
00:24:38,420 --> 00:24:39,680
Yeah, fine, OK, yeah.

485
00:24:39,980 --> 00:24:43,800
You just take it easy. I mean, in your
condition... Oops.

486
00:24:45,540 --> 00:24:46,800
What do you mean, oops?

487
00:24:46,801 --> 00:24:51,359
Oh, look, I can't wait any longer for
you to tell us official, like, I'm on

488
00:24:51,360 --> 00:24:52,500
bricks, it's knockout.

489
00:24:53,100 --> 00:24:54,340
You told him?

490
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:55,820
I didn't mean to.

491
00:24:56,120 --> 00:24:57,170
It was an accident.

492
00:24:57,171 --> 00:24:59,219
That's all right, I'm really chuffed.

493
00:24:59,220 --> 00:25:01,139
Mum's always saying I should settle
down.

494
00:25:01,140 --> 00:25:03,419
You know, there was three less on
holiday this year.

495
00:25:03,420 --> 00:25:06,850
Everyone's getting wives and kids and
mortgages. Oh, shut up, Dave!

496
00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:11,090
What?

497
00:25:11,420 --> 00:25:12,620
Look, it's the hormones.

498
00:25:13,180 --> 00:25:15,100
First few weeks are always upsetting.

499
00:25:15,101 --> 00:25:16,379
She'll be all right.

500
00:25:16,380 --> 00:25:17,940
Look, you make yourself at home.

501
00:25:19,980 --> 00:25:25,580
What's the matter, Cheryl?

502
00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:28,760
I mean, Dave's happy as a dog with four
lampposts.

503
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:31,380
You never thought that, did you?

504
00:25:31,790 --> 00:25:32,840
He's really pleased.

505
00:25:33,330 --> 00:25:34,890
It was none of your business.

506
00:25:35,290 --> 00:25:36,450
You had no right.

507
00:25:36,451 --> 00:25:38,329
No, I know.

508
00:25:38,330 --> 00:25:39,380
I'm sorry.

509
00:25:39,630 --> 00:25:42,100
I mean, you had to tell him sometime,
didn't you?

510
00:25:42,470 --> 00:25:44,090
I mean, he'd be banned to notice.

511
00:25:44,091 --> 00:25:47,469
You know, in five or six years' time
when you've got to start picking it up

512
00:25:47,470 --> 00:25:48,520
school.

513
00:25:49,330 --> 00:25:50,380
What is it?

514
00:25:52,170 --> 00:25:54,550
Look, Dave's a nice bloke, Trace.

515
00:25:55,110 --> 00:25:56,210
He's a real laugh.

516
00:25:57,050 --> 00:25:59,830
But it don't mean I want to time
yourself down, does it?

517
00:26:00,330 --> 00:26:01,750
But he really wants you.

518
00:26:02,010 --> 00:26:05,310
Oh, Chris really wanted me when we was
first together.

519
00:26:06,670 --> 00:26:08,530
They're all the same blokes.

520
00:26:09,390 --> 00:26:15,909
Football, boxing, snooker, darts, going
down the local with their mates, fencing

521
00:26:15,910 --> 00:26:17,710
anything that moves in a short skirt.

522
00:26:18,810 --> 00:26:23,269
Once the knobby wears off, he'll be out
on the beer and I'll be indoors ironing

523
00:26:23,270 --> 00:26:25,530
nappies. Get disposables.

524
00:26:26,830 --> 00:26:27,880
Get stuffed.

525
00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:31,020
Look, Dave might be different.

526
00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:35,000
He might be, but he ain't.

527
00:26:35,001 --> 00:26:37,699
Well, you've got to give him a chance,
haven't you?

528
00:26:37,700 --> 00:26:39,500
I mean, you're going to have his baby.

529
00:26:42,300 --> 00:26:43,360
No, I ain't.

530
00:26:44,940 --> 00:26:45,990
What?

531
00:26:47,140 --> 00:26:49,540
I said I ain't. You deaf?

532
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:53,120
Oh, you ain't going to do nothing
stupid, are you?

533
00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:55,840
No, I ain't going to do nothing.

534
00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:58,000
I already have.

535
00:27:01,580 --> 00:27:02,630
That's right.

536
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:04,480
Penny dropped, has it?

537
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:09,280
I didn't go job hunting today.

538
00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:14,300
Go downstairs, will you, please, Trace?

539
00:27:15,820 --> 00:27:17,640
You tell Dave you'd better go home.

540
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,520
And I might give him a ring in a couple
of days.

541
00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:26,780
If he still wants to talk to me.

542
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:28,450
Oh.

543
00:27:35,159 --> 00:27:36,209
Hello, mum?

544
00:27:37,460 --> 00:27:39,060
Yeah, you better sit down.

545
00:27:40,620 --> 00:27:43,750
Oh, I ain't calling you from the Spanish
police station again.

546
00:27:44,260 --> 00:27:45,840
I learned my lesson last year.

547
00:27:47,660 --> 00:27:50,540
No, now stop trying to guess or I won't
tell you.

548
00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:53,450
Mum?

549
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:55,520
You're going to be a name.

550
00:27:58,340 --> 00:28:00,380
Yeah, of course I'm going to marry her.

551
00:28:01,620 --> 00:28:02,860
I love her.

552
00:28:05,300 --> 00:28:07,620
Yeah. It's really smashing.

553
00:28:07,670 --> 00:28:12,220
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0